My counselor said to try. She said I would feel better if I at least said something. It be pretty sweet if those good feelings kicked in about now.

I still have a few people to talk to before my list is finished.

I feel like I've spent a lot of time the past few weeks ranting about one person or another, but it didn't really come to light until I went to Fanime and then to my last counseling session on Wednesday exactly how much time I spend roiling in these unhealthy, dark clouds of bitterness and hate.

It's a lot, let's just say. And it really is unhealthy.

( There are a few things I can and am trying to do to combat this: )

TL;DR
To the people of AP, my old home that I used to enjoy so much: Shit happened and some of you I never want to see ever again, so you receive option A, but the rest, I'm just going to forget all the bad. I'm actually pretty good at it. Just don't let this ridiculous shit happen again.

To the people of DF, the game I joined against my better judgment: Most of you are cocksuckers. Check please.

To the people of BB, the game I tried to make into more than what it was meant for: I left a lot unsaid, and even though I will not join again, I am working on just trying to move on from all the problems that were happening behind the scenes.

To the people of Uba U, the game that I can safely call home: ILU guys T.T

This more than any other entry so far will probably make me look like a complete asshole, but only to those whom these comments are really directed towards. Food for thought.

Current job prospects:

internship at digital manga publishing:
upsides: job experience in a field that has branching possibilities and that I'm actually interested in.
downsides: unpaid and with a company that's obsessed with yaoi.

writer at bioware:
upsides: writer at fucking bioware.
downsides: in canada and vastly intimidating.

It seems like a lot of people have been posting things about LJ RP lately... aaaaaand now that I have this window open, I don't really remember what my two cents were about it. *broke*

I guess I don't really have anything new to add from last time. RPing on LJ has just been so unsatisfying lately. It's probably a combination of things, secrets, comment wars, warm sunny days, a paper and some tests coming up, my inner ear infection that I had a week ago...

Uh...

Oh. If anyone else is itching for something to do, I have to write a campaign for my tabletop DnD group on Thursday, but since AIM has a dice engine, it'd be really easy to play it in a chatroom too. If anyone's interested, they can contact me.

Of course, it'd help if you had a Player's Handbook. (you can download them for free~) It'd also help if you knew something about Dungeons and Dragons, but that's totally optional.

So, my xBox is currently suffering from "three red lights" syndrome. I don't know what that means, and the website doesn't want to tell me, since I'm sure they want to discourage people from trying to fix the problem themselves.

This means that I (read: Annie) get to take my console apart, bring it to UPS, get it insured, watch them wrap it up in bubble wrap and send it across the country where the xBox company says they will fix it. For free. Plus shipping and handling. Even though the warranty's expired. Maybe it's free because of the kind of problem it is, or maybe they realize that since we noticed a problem at all we are loyal customers of theirs and play video games regularly.

Best case scenario: fixing the xBox stays free and they save our memory blocks.

Expected scenario: fixing it costs some money and we lose our memory blocks.

Worst case scenario: fixing it will cost so much we'll just wind up buying a new one.

I realized just now that there were two times when I have been actually happy these past two weeks.

One of them was at tabletop DnD which I had to stop doing over fall term for various rl reasons.

The other time is when I'm just lying in bed hanging out with no wake up time to stress over and no one pressuring me to get up and do things.

Neither of these situations involved the computer or LJ RP. While it is not the main source of my stress, as I believe the factors contributing to it are fairly evenly spread, it is a source. I will not do anything rash and just drop all of the games I'm in, but I am going to stop apping characters randomly at places.

And drop VM finally. I haven't posted there in like two months anyway.

Please add your own rules/thoughts about what you think people should do to help lead healthy RP lives as well as still being active in their REAL life.

RULE NUMBER ONE:

Talk to your rp partner(s) about threads and plots. Make sure you both(all) understand what is happening as well as the rate at which you will be able to tag.

Nothing creates drama faster between two people than miscommunication about character plots or days passing without a tag. A quick conversation about timing with threads and goals for character development can go a long way to prevent ooc drama flare-ups.

Padma Lakshmi alsfho;gaiuhfhag;usdofh;askjenrtae;tgbfuosyhrtn4t

*dies*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\o\

/o/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@_@

8D???

>.

So, I hide from real life in rp only to watch my friends get persecuted by whiny 5 year olds. It doesn't help that those 5 year olds also seem to have everyone else scared into submission so they just let the injustices persist.

Then I try and find refuge in real life ONLY TO BE CONFRONTED BY THE SAME ISSUE.

People had better start getting their act together and leave my friends alone.

EDIT: RARARARARARARARARARARARARAR. Rar.

RP HASN'T BEEN DOING IT FOR ME LATELY.

Even my new shiny game isn't nearly so shiny anymore, even if it's still new. Being in a larger comm just made me realize why I left my old one. I hate having to memorize alliances and learning who to talk to and who not to talk to. I also hate seeing bad rpers who make me feel like even I know more about a character than they do, even if I've only seen one episode of the series.

I'm also in a smaller community which is really nice in most ways, except I feel like a lot of people are using it as an escape (myself included) for main muses. This basically means that our characters have very little to talk about because we all already oocly know what's going to happen, and we can generally guess what character dynamics are going to look like.

The one good thing I have to look forward to is my OTP I have there.

I've also been in another really small comm for like, half a year. It's... really small. It was nice for a while, but I might have to drop one of my muses there. I won't drop the other one because he's in a really cute pairing that just blossomed.

Urg. It's just this looming graduation thing, probably. I mean, all this RL stuff that I can't figure out is effecting my game. Which I guess it should, since RL should come before Fantasy Fun Tiems. Unfortunately.

We'll see how many hiatuses I have to take this term. v.v

I got tagged for both Meier and Lockon, so I'll answer respectively.

01 → Do you like this character?
No. What kind of dumb question is this?

02 → What name/s do you call this character?
Meier or Mayerling.

Lockon, Kockon, Rockon, Hardon Strapos...

03 → What image/color do you associate with character?
Red

Green or blue or orange

04 → What image-song do you associate with character?
uhhh, none really...

Snow Patrol songs, Smashing Pumpkins songs

05 → What blood-type do you think this character is?
ahahahahaha

something mildly retarded but really happy?

06 → Of all of the titles that this character appears in, what character do you like to put this character with?
I actually don't care for Charlotte all that much as a character, but Meier really loved her so.

I shipped Feldt Lockon for a long while until I saw the end. Now I ship Tieria Lockon hard core.

07 → What would you want to say to this character?
you get a more sparkly girlfriend in the future *pat pat*

You should have stayed locked in your room D8

08 → What do you want to do with this character:
make him a little less internally emo somehow

SLAP HIM BACK INTO CHARACTER AND STOP MAKING HIM AN ASS

09 → Please choose 5 friends with your choice of character.
derp, if any of them read this:
Jen
Fluffster
Red
... uh.

Just when I feel like I've finally got my shit together, everyone around me falls apart.

Happy no-more-finals mood is so gone.

8D

- Ghandi Ghandi

[PS: will insert more meaningful entries later >.>;;]